Torn Between Two Lovers
by mandyg67
Summary: Addison has some second thoughts about her decisions while she is living with Mark
1. Chapter 1

Addie smiled as she rested in Mark's arms. They had a wonderful evening, first a delightful dinner at her favorite restaurant, Café Boulud, and now they were relaxing together watching her choice of a movie _, Walk the Line_. But then her phone rang. Addie looked at the unfamiliar number; she didn't even recognize the area code. She thought about whether she should answer it. Her mother had drilled good manners into her, and she had told Addie that a telephone should be answered. But that was in the days before voice mail and call screening, and Addie was enjoying watching the movie with Mark.

"You can answer the phone, Addie. I'll pause the movie. It's fine with me," advised Mark.

"Okay." She grabbed the cell phone next to her and answered. "Addison here."

"Addie, I'm so glad I finally reached you. I've tried your office number and your home number without success. It's Richard Webber."

Addie smiled, remembering working as an intern under Dr. Webber's supervision. "Richard, it's great to hear from you. I can't believe you tracked me down." She got up and walked to the bedroom so she could have some privacy for the call.

"It took some work to get your personal cell phone. But I still have friends at Mount Sinai."

"I'm sure you do." Addie responded. "It's good to hear from you, Richard. How's Adele doing?"

"She's worried about you."

"Me?" Addie was puzzled.

"Well, your husband accepted my offer and started work on Monday. I thought you would be coming with him, but he told me no. And when I told Adele, she got worried. "

"Derek is in Seattle?"

"Yes, he started working here on Monday."

"And it's not just a consult?"

"No, it's a permanent job, Chief of Neurosurgery. And I have an opening for a Chief of Neonatal Medicine. It's perfect for you."

Addie laughed. "Richard, I'm a devoted New Yorker. I'm not moving to Seattle."

"Can you explain to me why your husband has moved to Seattle without you?"

"What did Derek say?"

"He didn't. He just said that you'd be staying in New York."

"He knows me well. Did he explain why he left?" Addie twirled her hair nervously. She was concerned that Derek might have gone into detail on why he left her and that Richard might think less of her if he knew that Derek walked in on her having sex with Mark.

"No, but I've been calling him for months urging him to take this job. I'm building a great teaching hospital here. But I always told him I needed you, too. You'd be an amazing teacher, Addie."

Addie was relieved that at least Derek was being discreet. She responded, "Well, I'm staying here."

"So what should I tell Adele?"

"Tell her I'm doing fine, and I wish her well."

"I'm not giving up on you, Addie. I need your talent, and Derek needs you, too."

"I appreciate your concern, Richard, but I'm fine here."

She hung up the phone slowly and returned to the living room.

"Who was that?"

"Richard Webber."

"He's in Seattle now, right? Why was he is calling you?"

"He hired Derek."

"Wow. Derek's in Seattle."

"Yup. 3000 miles away."

"Well, that's good news, Addie."

"Good news?" Addie was puzzled. How could Derek moving to Seattle be good news? He loved Manhattan, having lived here since he started medical school at Columbia. She briefly thought of the many happy times they spent in the city – walking in Central Park, riding the Staten Island Ferry, eating at Café Boulud . . .

But Mark interrupted her thoughts. "Yeah. I love you. I'm so happy you've moved in with me. It would be awkward for Derek to be in New York now. He'd find it hard to see us so happy together."

Addie looked at Mark. "New York is a big city, Mark."

"Mount Sinai is a small world, Addie."

"I guess so. It would be hard for him to avoid both of us, particularly since we all have privileges at the same hospital. So I guess you're right. Derek's better off being far away. Until now, I've worried every time I've set foot in Mount Sinai that I might run into him." Her last confrontation with her husband was fresh in her mind. For a few minutes, she had been afraid that he would throw her out of their brownstone. While Derek had a vile temper when angry, she had never before been afraid of him.

"Me, too."

"It just seems so weird for Derek to move to Seattle, 3000 miles from his mother and sisters. He's always been so close to his family. His sisters have been calling me, asking me where he is." Addie thought for a moment about the frantic calls that had started last Sunday morning. First, Nancy had called, leaving a message, "Addie, please call. Mom says Derek left you. Let's talk about it. No matter what, you're my sister." Then Kathleen had called; her message was, "Hi Addie, Derek's not returning my calls. I'm worried about him. Mom told me he said he was leaving, but he didn't say where to. And he said he was leaving you. Mom didn't explain why. Please call." And most recently, this morning, she heard from Amy, and her message was "Hi Addie. What's up? Did Derek find out about you and Mark? I'm keeping my mouth shut, but the sisters are going crazy! Please give me a call." Addie had smiled at Amelia's loyalty to her. She had really enjoyed having a little sister.

"Well, now you know. You can call them in the morning and tell them he's in Seattle."

"I'll send them an email. I'm not ready to talk to them," Addie admitted.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, Addie. We love each other."

Mark knew her so well. He had picked up on her guilt. "I'm married, Mark."

"Not for long, if I have anything to do with it," said Mark. "I have a different idea about who should be your husband." He kissed her.

"Mark, it's too soon. I'm still married."

"Your husband is in Seattle. He spent the past year and more ignoring you, and now he's left you."

"I'm not sure that it's fair to say he left me. He did walk in on us having sex."

"He could have stayed and fought for your marriage if that was his priority. But he ran way. And that's good for us. He can have a fresh start, and we can have New York to ourselves. You just said that you were worried about running into him. Not a problem any more."

"I still worry about running into his sisters. There's a tri-state obgyn conferene next month, and I usually see Nancy there."

"Well, we can't relocate all the Shepherds to Seattle, although that is a great idea."

"Mark, they were our family, too."

"I know. I love the Shepherds. And they'll come around. I'm sure they want us both to be happy."

"Not if it means Derek deserts New York for Seattle. And I think they'll be pissed when they learn that it was the sight of us in bed together that sent Derek running." Addie realized that Mark was not the best person to talk to about Derek. Mark wanted her. After feeling neglected by her husband for years, she was glad to get attention from a handsome, kind man. But Derek was her husband, and it wasn't that simple for her to walk away from her marriage. And she felt sad that Derek needed to put 3,000 miles between them, so far from his family. "Let's go back to watching the movie."

"Yes, let's see Johnny Cash meet the love of his life. I always love a true love story."

"Me, too, Mark."

"Good, because we're a true love story."

Addie laughed, "You're so cheesy."

"Yup, that's me, Mr. Romance."

"That's for sure, Mark." Addie smiled. She was really enjoying Mark's romantic side. It felt so good to feel so wanted. For so long, she had felt neglected by her husband. Now she had someone who adored her and spoke about adoring her constantly. But sometimes she wondered if she loved Mark as much as he loved her.


	2. Chapter 2

Addie loved traditions, and Wednesday nights at Café Luxembourg had been a tradition for her and Savvy since she graduated medical school and settled on the West Side of Manhattan. She had been very lucky that she had a trust account and was able to buy a brownstone in such a fashionable neighborhood. Derek had wanted to rent some place that they could afford on their income as interns. They'd looked at apartments in Alphabet City and Williamsburg, but Addie had her heart set on living in a brownstone on the Upper West Side. So she had insisted on getting the brownstone, and then she had insisted on hiring a decorator and buying top-of-the line furnishings. She had been brought up to enjoy the fine things in life, and she had been thrilled to escape from student housing after four years in college dorms and four years in medical school housing. Thinking back though, she wondered sometimes if she had been right to insist on getting her way. Maybe Derek would have been happier if he had participated 50/50 in their housing and living expenses, reserving the trust fund for special treats.

She had always thought that money would not be an issue in their marriage because they would both be wealthy doctors. But Derek was just not as interested in what money can buy – apart from buying a Porsche– as she was. He would have been happy with a one-bedroom apartment in a not-yet-gentrified neighborhood. That was one way in, which she was far more compatible with Mark than Derek. Mark also appreciated the finer things in life. Thanks to his family wealth, he had a beautiful penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park. They also had both family wealth and neglectful parents in common.

"Addie?" said Savvy as she sat down across from Addie. "Penny for your thought?"

"They're not worth a penny. How are you?"

"I'm doing well. We're having fun trying to make a baby."

"Wow, congratulations."

"Save the congratulations until I get pregnant!"

"Well, it's great that you've decided to try."

"So how are things going with Mark?"

"Amazingly well. Mark thinks we're a great love story."

"How sweet."

"I feel guilty. How can I be happy with Mark when I know that we destroyed Derek?"

"What makes you think you destroyed Derek?"

"Well, Richard Webber called me last night and told me that Derek has moved to Seattle and started working for him. He made Derek Chief of Neurosurgery."

"That hardly sounds destroyed. Chief of Neurosurgery is a big promotion for Derek."

"But it's in Seattle!"

"Weiss and I were there for a couple days a few years ago. Our Alaska cruise started in Seattle. It's nice size city with some great restaurants. The Pike Street Marketplace is amazing. And Starbuck's was born there."

"It's not New York."

"Well, no place is," Savvy thought for a moment, "Although Paris and London are both pretty amazing."

"Well, Seattle is not New York. I feel like Mark and I drove him from New York."

"It's his choice, Addie. He's a big boy. And he has a great new job. And with his hair and his beautiful blue eyes, I'm sure he'll have women coming after him."

Addie stared at Savvy.

"Addie, you look surprised."

"I just can't imagine Derek with anyone but me."

"Even when you're sleeping with Mark?"

Addie thought for a minute. "Yeah. Derek's loyal. I never doubted he was faithful to me."

"Was faithful, Addie. When you were married and living together. Maybe seeing you and Mark at it in bed gave him the idea his marriage was over."

"I told him we were Addison and Derek that night. I told him we could survive this."

"And then he got in his car and drove to Seattle."

"That's true."

"And you moved in with Mark."

"Well, I couldn't bear being alone in our brownstone. I just keep thinking of him walking out on me."

"Addie, if you want Derek, you should go after him."

"Savvy, I'm living with Mark."

"Do you love Mark?"

"Sure, I love him."

"Is that I love him as a friend or is it true love, like Mark says?"

"Good question."

"Is he good in bed? Certainly, the rumors have always suggested that he is amazing."

"Yes," Addie said with a smile. "But will he be amazing in eleven years? Derek was also amazing for a long time. Recently, we've had a dry spell."

"Now Derek never had Mark's reputation as a lover."

"Well, I had discretion, and we were together pretty much all the time you've known Derek. I've been the only woman in his life since the day we met, the first day of medical school."

"So you're saying they're both great in bed."

"Yes. I've given it some thought, actually. I think Carolyn Shepherd was a big influence on both of them. She taught them that sex is for mutual enjoyment, and both focus on pleasing their partner. You can't believe how many of my patients have partners who don't care at all about their pleasure, who are only having sex for their own pleasure."

"How sad."

"Yeah, that's for sure. So I appreciate Carolyn even if she didn't appreciate me."

"Did she ever say anything to you?"

"No, her manners are great. I just never felt the same warmth I saw her give Kathleen's husband and Lizzie's husband. She wasn't a big fan of Nancy's husband either."

"As I recall, even Nancy isn't a big fan."

"Yeah. And Carolyn did not really like my family. I once suggested that she invite my folks to the family Christmas, but she said there wasn't room."

"Addie, you're being ridiculous. I've been to the Shepherd home. It's nothing like your family's home."

"It's a nice house."

"A nice middle class house. It's understandable that Carolyn was concerned about having your family over. I remember that engagement dinner your parents had, for all the Shepherds and some friends. Your Mom told Amelia Shepherd It's as easy to marry a rich man as a poor man.' I could see the steam rising from Carolyn although she didn't say anything."

"Derek's a rich man. He's a neurosurgeon; surgeons make good money."

"Addie, as far as New York society goes, Derek is middle class. He works for a living and doesn't have any inherited wealth. He makes a good living, but you need a lot more to be considered rich in New York. I don't think Bizzy was thinking of Derek when she said a rich man. He had nothing but debts then. Now in Seattle, Derek is rich although obviously not in the same ballpark as Bill Gates."

"I never complained about Derek's financial status to Carolyn."

"No, you didn't have to, Addie. She knew your parents looked down on Derek, and she resented that. Your families came from two different worlds."

"But I was a good daughter-in-law. And a great sister-in-law. And an amazing aunt."

"All true, Addie. I agree Carolyn should have loved you, but that's not why your marriage is in difficulty."

"You're right about that. But now I don't think Carolyn would ever forgive me."

"I bet she would if you were the mother of Derek's children."

"Maybe, but that's not happening."

"Not if he stays in Seattle, and you stay here. You have a choice, Addie. Derek or Mark? Or even being on your own. What will make you happy?"

"Great question. I don't know. I have a lot to think about."


	3. Chapter 3

Addie was exhausted. For some reason, all her patients who were close to term had chosen today to give birth, or at least go to the hospital. She had already delivered one set of twins and she had performed two other c-sections. So far, two boys and two girls; the twins were both girls. At this point, they looked like fraternal twins. And all the babies were healthy; it was a great day so far, even if exhausting. She still had two moms in labor, but right now it looked like they would not give birth until tomorrow.

But Addie was planning on staying until the babies were born rather than to entrust the mother to the next doctor on call. She already had bonded with them. She went to her office for a brief nap. As she entered, her phone was ringing, so she ran to get the phone. "Addison Montgomery, here."

"I thought it was Addison Montgomery Shepherd," said a voice that Addison had heard in probably a decade.

"Adele?"

"Yes, it's Adele Webber."

"It's great to hear from you. How are you doing?" 

"Fine for the most part. How are you?"

"Fine."

"Really? Derek's in Seattle. "

"I know."

"How can you be fine if your husband is on the other side of the country?"

Addie pondered the question. "Well, I just was responsible for the birth of four healthy babies. It's a good day."

"Addie, you're a wonderful doctor, but there's a lot more to life than work."

"I have a great job here, Adele."

"Richard told me that he wants you to come to Seattle. There are plenty of babies born in Seattle."

Addie laughed. "Yes, babies are born everywhere. But I'm a true New Yorker, born and bred."

"Seattle is great. Richard and I were so happy when we had the opportunity to leave New York and move back to Seattle. New York is great to visit, but Seattle is wonderful. We have a house with an amazing view of the river, and it's so easy to get around this city."

"New York has great mass transit."

"I can't imagine you riding the subway."

"I usually walk. New York is a great walking city. And I've perfected the art of hailing a cab."

"Even in the rain?"

"Oh yes. And I have a couple of driver on my speed dial. I find it very easy to get around the city."

"But your husband is here."

"That's true."

"Are you giving up on your marriage, Addie?"

Addie pondered the question. Since her last dinner with Savvy, she had occasionally thought about her husband. But she was spending almost every night with Mark, and Mark was a lot of fun. And he cared so deeply about her. It felt like it had been along time since Derek was as amorous as Mark is now.

She decided to be honest. "I don't know, Adele."

"You don't know? Addie, I'm talking to you from personal experience. If you want to stay married, you need to fight for your marriage. I did. I was always there for Richard, and he was having an affair. Was Derek having an affair in NY?"

"No, I don't think he would have had time for an affair. He certainly had no time for me. He worked very hard."

"Surgeons work hard. You're no slacker. I'm sure you've been at the hospital for many hours, if not days, if you have just delivered four babies."

"Two were twins, so it was only three deliveries."

"Even so, you've had a long day at the hospital."

"So? When Derek and I were first attendings, Derek was trying to build a name for himself, but he'd only work at night when I was working. If I was home, he was home."

"When did that stop?"

"Maybe three years ago, maybe longer."

"Why did you let that stop?"

"Why blame me?"

"Addie, it takes two people to make a good marriage. You need to fight for your marriage, as I said. I did, and I'm glad. I have Richard, and he's a good man. I love him, and I love living with him."

"I'm glad you're happy with your marriage."

"There were plenty of times when I wasn't. Particularly when Richard was having an affair. But I hung in there and fought for your marriage. What are you doing for your marriage now?"

Addie thought to herself "well, I'm sleeping with my husband's ex-best friend," but she decided to keep that fact to herself. "Adele, this is between Derek and me."

Adele tried another tack. "You know the interns here are calling your husband McDreamy?"

"McDreamy?"

"Yes, the interns think he's dreamy. If you don't get your act together and come out here, some other woman is going to snatch up your husband, and you may wind up being too late to save your marriage."

"Adele, I see you should have gone into marriage counseling as a profession."

"Well, are you going to listen to your marriage counselor?"

"Maybe." Addie decided to indulge Adele. After all, maybe this way it would be easier to end the phone conversation.

"I have to go, Addie, but I expect to see you in Seattle before long."

"Why don't you tell Derek to come home?"

"Because my husband wants him here, and my marriage is more important to me than yours, dear."

Addie laughed. "Glad to know you have your priorities."

"Sure do."


	4. Chapter 4

Week 4

"So we have a week-end without work, both of us, starting tomorrow night," Mark noted.

"Yes, we're not even on call."

"Do you want to go to the Hamptons for the week-end?"

Addie looked at Mark. "Maybe. We haven't been there . . ."

"Since Derek left." Mark chose his words carefully. He knew what Addie was thinking. "But Derek hasn't been to the Hamptons house for months."

Addie chuckled. "I think Derek would have preferred a cabin in the Catskills."

"He likes fishing in lakes better than in the ocean. But we both like the Hamptons. We went just the two of us the last few times."

"I know. We spent a lot of time flirting."

"That was fun. And we'd have lots of fun there this week-end, now we're together. And Derek is in Seattle. He's not likely to come out to the Hamptons house this week-end or any week-end."

"We didn't think he'd come home early that night."

"But he was in New York, Addie. His emergency surgery had gotten cancelled because the patient died."

Addie nodded. They had checked afterwards to see how Derek had wound up coming up early. And they felt bad when they realized that Derek had already been upset by his patient's death when he arrived home and then found them together.

"It was far more likely that he would come early from his job at Mount Sinai than that he would leave his job in Seattle to come to the Hamptons house that he hates."

"Maybe."

"Absolutely. He never came to the Hamptons house on his own."

"That's true. He sometimes came with you but never alone."

"Look, I know it was traumatic for you that Derek walked in on us."

Addie looked at him. "Wasn't it traumatic for you?"

Mark shook his head.

"Were you glad he walked in on us?"

"No, I felt bad for Derek, walking in on us. I'll never forget that expression of total shock on his face. For all those times, he told me to take care of you, he never suspected that I loved you."

"Mark . . ."

"Addie, I've always loved you."

"Mark, you have a real romantic streak for a manwhore."

"I was a manwhore because I didn't have you."

"Now Derek told me that you were a manwhore in middle school."

"Does middle school really count?"

"I didn't meet you until the first day of medical school, so you had many years as a manwhore."

"I was a fun-loving college student. But once I met you, I loved you."

"And then how come you never even asked me out?"

"Because Derek asked first."

"The bro-code."

"Yes."

"So then why did you decide to make love to me that night?"

"Because Derek has been neglecting you, and you deserve happiness. You deserve a man who loves you."

"And that's you."

"Yes, me. I love you. And we should go to the Hamptons this week-end and enjoy the beach. There's no chance that Derek will come."

"Maybe."

"If you want, we can sleep in the guest room. I love your guest room."

"You've been staying there since we moved in."

"Yeah. You really should have called it Mark's room."

"Derek usually did. You know he liked us being friends."

"Yes. He often told me to take care of you."

"He trusted you."

Mark whispered, "Yes."

"We didn't deserve his trust."

"Addie, we have nothing to feel guilty about. We love each other. And Derek now has a chance for a fresh start. He can find his own true love."

"Mark, you are definitely a romantic."

"When it comes to you, I am very romantic. Now let's plan our trip to the Hamptons."

"Okay," Addie smiled. "We can go to the Hamptons."


	5. Chapter 5

Addie smiled as she left the delivery room. She had managed to fulfill her patient's goal, a vaginal delivery of a breech delivery. It had been challenging, but she was one of the few obgyns in her hospital comfortable with doing a vaginal delivery for breech babies. She had had a lot of experience in the difficult maneuvers involved. And, as a result, some of her colleagues referred their own patients to her when they discovered the fetus was in breech position.

She checked the clock and saw it was 1:35 p.m. Oh, shit, she thought. She had planned on meeting Mark for lunch at 1. He had known she was working with a tough delivery, so she figured he might have gone ahead to the cafeteria. She walked into the cafeteria and looked around for him. She was surprised a bit to see him thoroughly engaged in conversation with a young nurse. She decided to grab her lunch, a salad, first, and then she walked over to Mark. She approached quietly, behind his back, and, as she came close, she could hear the conversation.

"Oh, no, I wouldn't recommend any plastic surgery for you. You're perfect."

"Thank you," the nurse said, blushing. "I do sometimes think I should have a boob job. Mine are quite small."

"No, they look perfect to me," responded Mark.

"Thanks. You do have a reputation as the top plastic surgeon here."

Addie decided to intervene, "Yes, he's the top plastic surgeon in the Northeast."

"Thanks, Addie. Addie, do you know Fran Richards? She started working as a nurse here last month."

"Pleased to meet you, I'm Addison Montgomery."

"I though you were Dr. Shepherd," answered Nurse Richards.

"I'm using my maiden name now," Addie explained.

"But your name tag on your coat says Shepherd."

Addie looked at her name on the coat and saw "Shepherd." Oh shit. She had forgotten that her coat had her name. She had decided to call herself Montgomery on the spur of the moment, without thinking about the name on the jacket.

"She gotcha, Addie," Mark smirked. He clearly was enjoying her discomfort.

Addie decided to change the subject. No possible good could come from exploring her reasons for impromptu change of her name. Not when the only possible reason could be her decision to make her relationship with Mark clear to the nurse, and she knew that it was wrong for a married woman to insist on her rights to a man who was not her husband. So it was wrong for her to use the Shepherd name if she wanted to tell Richards to leave Mark alone. "How are you enjoying Mount Sinai, Fran?"

"Well, I'm really impressed by the doctors, particularly Dr. Sloan."

Addie rolled her eyes. This young thing was really playing up to Mark. "Oh, Mark can be quite impressive."

"I'm sure."

"Thank you both," Mark chuckled. "I love it when women compliment me."

"Don't let flattery go to your head, Mark," warned Addie.

"Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't," replied Richards.

"Then you really don't know Dr. Sloan," replied Addie.

"Addie, come on," responded Mark. "I was just passing time with Fran while I was waiting for you. How did the delivery go?"

"Perfect. A healthy mom, and a healthy baby. The mom was thrilled that she avoided a c-section."

"You are amazing, Addie."

"Thanks. We're both amazing." Addie smiled.

"I better get going," said Fran. "I have to get back to work. You can both admire each other without me."

"Wow, she is tougher than she looks," Addie commented, admiringly.

"I guess so," responded Mark. "Now Addie, you acted as if you were jealous."

Addie thought for a moment. "Maybe I was."

"Addie, you have no right to be jealous when you're still wearing your wedding ring and engagement ring."

Addie looked at her right hand. Somehow she hadn't noticed that she was still wearing her rings. "I hadn't even thought about them."

"I think of them every time I see your right hand, Addie."

As Addie looked at the rings, she remembered the moment when Mark had given Derek the wedding ring. "You gave Derek the ring."

"That's the job of the best man. I did a great job, for someone who was in love with the bride."

"Mark . . ."

"Addie, I was. "

"You didn't say anything."

"How could I? Derek was my best friend, and you said you loved him."

"I did."

Mark noticed the tense. "Did?"

"Yes, did. Derek is my best. You are my future."

"Well, maybe you should consider taking your rings off and getting a new lab coat."

"Sounds like a plan." 


	6. Chapter 6

Week 6

Addie was rushing to get coffee before the first panel she was planning to attend, on preventing placenta previa. But then she heard, "Addie."

Addie turned when she heard the familiar voice. She had been worrying about this moment for more than a month, and she was very pleased that Nancy had greeted her first. That had to be a good sign. "Hi, Nancy," she said as she looked her sister-in-law in the eye. She had decided that it would be best to be direct and open with Nancy. They had immediately bonded as friends when she first met Derek's family, and Addie hoped that somehow they could remain friends. "I thought I might see you here. This conference is always amazing."

"Yes, it's great to take a day to learn about new developments. But you're always researching new developments. That's why you are usually a presenter."

"Thanks. I'm on a panel on spina bifida this afternoon."

"I saw that."

"Good." An awkward silence ensued. Addie decided to end it. "You're looking great. I love your emerald suit."

"Thanks." Nancy smiled but didn't say anything else.

Addie was disappointed at the monosyllabic response. Back in the day, Nancy and Addie would spend hours talking about their wardrobes. And Addie was very happy with the crimson suit she had chosen to wear. She had been pretty conservative in choosing her top, selecting a white silk shirt. So she reached out again, asking "How are Peter and all the kids?"

"Peter is fine. He's working hard. And the kids are all confused."

Addie became concerned at the direction the conversation was moving in. She looked around, and she saw a private area behind a staircase. She walked to the private area because she didn't want to have the conversation in front of other doctors. She saw that Nancy followed her. She asked, "Confused?"

"Yes, first they wanted to know why Uncle Derek, Aunt Addie, and Uncle Mark haven't been coming to family dinner on Sundays. Then, after I got your email that Derek was in Seattle and told them he was out there, they wanted to know what Uncle Derek was doing in Seattle. And Derek hasn't responded to any of my calls, or Kathy's or Liz's or Mom's."

"What about Amy?" Addie asked and immediately regretted her spontaneous question.

"You know I don't talk to Amy."

"Right. But I think your Mom still does."

"But Derek doesn't, so she wouldn't have heard from him either."

"I don't know why he hasn't called." Addie had always resented being held responsible for Derek by his family members when they were married, and now that he had vanished to Seattle, she thought it would be unfair to hold her responsible for him not calling. But then again, the family probably held her responsible for him moving to Seattle. And Addie knew that wasn't unfair; Derek would never have left Manhattan if it had not been for his walking in to his bedroom while she and mark were making love.

"Addie, maybe he is too embarrassed to talk to us. It's pretty humiliating finding your best friend in bed with your wife." Nancy stared at Addie.

"I'm sorry." Addie whispered.

"You're sorry he is too embarrassed to talk to his family or that you slept with Mark?"

Addie was tongue-tied. In all the years she had known Nancy, Nancy had never turned her sharp tongue on Nancy.

"Addie, look, I know you and Derek were having troubles."

"You did?" Addie was surprised.

"Derek was working all the time, and you both stopped talking about starting to have a family. I wondered whether you were having fertility problems and didn't want to talk about it."

Addie stared at Nancy. She had never thought about how her marriage (or her family planning) looked to Nancy. "I guess I didn't realize how obvious it was that we were having problems."

"Well, it was obvious to Mark," Nancy said with a smirk.

Addie was speechless. She really didn't want to discuss Mark with Nancy.

"He was Derek's friend. He saw you were unhappy. And he spent a lot of time with you, without Derek."

"But Derek was working, and he encourage us to spend time together."

"I don't think he meant for Mark to take his place in your bed."

"I know that, Nancy." Addie stared at Nancy.

"He and Derek were best friends since kindergarten."

"I know that as well."

"Well, you and Mark ruined that. I just don't know what you're thinking. Mark is fun, but do you think he's serious about you?"

Addie chuckled. "You should listen to him. His story is that he's loved me since that first day in Anatomy class."

"And he let Derek date you and marry you because of Mark's devotion to the bro code?"

"I guess it's something like that."

Nancy looked at her sympathetically. "Addie, we need to talk. Have you had breakfast?"

"Yes, a good day starts with a good breakfast."

"That's Carolyn Shepherd's mantra."

"Well, both Mark and Derek are strong believers. Mark made me a delicious frittata this morning."

"Mark cooked for you?"

"Yes. He's a good cook."

"I know that. My mom made sure that all of us, including Mark, were good cooks."

"I know. Both Mark and Derek are far better cooks than I am."

"No kidding. I remember your attempt at turkey for Thanksgiving. What a disaster. Let's get coffee at the hotel restaurant. We can play hooky from the first panel."

"Okay." Addie smiled. Somehow Nancy had gone from being mean to being nice. The two women walked companionably to the hotel restaurant, and the waitress escorted them to a table in the back of the restaurant.

"Well, after more than twenty years of marriage, my husband doesn't make me breakfast, so I was planning on getting breakfast here. I'll order a real breakfast."

The waitress approached, and Nancy ordered a vegetarian omelet and some coffee. Addie ordered fruit salad and some coffee. They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes.

"So Addie, what are you thinking?"

"What do you mean, Nancy?"

"You married Derek. He's a good man. I know you've had problems, but I'm pretty sure he was faithful to you. Do you really think Mark is husband material?"

"Nancy, this is not really your business."

"Addie, Derek's my brother, and I've known Mark since he was in kindergarten with Derek. Mark has been like a brother to me. My mother treats him like a son."

"Still?"

"Well, at least until Derek found you in bed with Mark. To be honest, Mom is perplexed about what she should do. She loves Mark, and knows he needs mothering. His own parents are never around for him."

"I know."

"Mark's damaged Addie. He'd never be a good husband."

"You don't know that. And we're all damaged."

"There's damaged and then there's broken. We lost my dad in a terrible tragedy, but we know he loved us, and we have great memories of wonderful times with him. And we had a mom who loved us even though she could be very tough on all of us."

"What about Amy?"

"Well, you're right about Amy. But Mom tells me she's doing well at John Hopkins."

"And you haven't forgiven her."

"At some point, when she comes to me to ask forgiveness, I'll forgive her, Addie. She's my baby sister, and I love her. But she needs to atone for what she did to me. Stealing my prescription pad and Derek's, too? She could have gotten us both in serious professional trouble."

"She's a troubled girl, Nancy, and she needs unconditional love."

"Is that what you're giving Mark?"

"Mark is a great guy, Nancy."

"I know that. He's a lot of fun. And a great lover. "

Addie looked at Nancy. "And how do you know that, Nancy?"

Nancy's cheeks turned bright red. "Well, Addie, I've told you that I know Mark well."

"You slept with him?" Addie was astounded.

Nancy smiled. "Addie, it was long before I knew you. I was just a kid. It was a rite of passage for us."

"For us? Liz and Kathy, too?"

Nancy nodded.

"What about Amy?"

"No, she was too young. And Mark always treated her like a little sister."

"But I always thought that Mark treated the three of you as big sisters."

"Well, most of the time." Nancy smiled again.

"I never had any idea. Did Derek know?"

"Derek? No, Mark is usually great at keeping secrets. And we all wanted to protect him. He didn't need to know."

"How did you manage to conceal it? You have such a tiny house."

Nancy laughed. "You never visited Mark's house. It was enormous. And Derek and Mom never came there, so it was safe. Mark liked to hang out at our house with Derek."

"So you, and Kathy and Liz, all at Mark's house?"

Nancy laughed. "Not all at the same time, Addie. It wasn't like that. But it was like a rite of passage for each of us, I think."

"Nancy, Mark was young then. He's matured a lot."

"Really? When was the last time he flirted with a girl?"

Yesterday, Addie thought to herself, or maybe today. But she wasn't going to admit that Mark's flirting bothered her. "Nancy, flirting can be harmless."

"So you're admitting that Mark was flirting. I don't think he can be a one woman man. You should go back to Derek."

"Derek's not going to forgive me, Nancy. He's a black and white thinker. Adultery is wrong. He saw us, and he immediately fled to Seattle, 3,000 miles away."

Nancy looked at Addie closely. "Derek believes in his marriage vows, I'm sure. Marriage is for eternity, Addie. Everyone makes mistakes. Derek knows that marriage requires work sometimes."

"But I slept with his best friend, Nancy. He's not going to want me."

"Addie, look at yourself. You are a gorgeous woman. Derek loves you."

"I don't think he's loved me since he caught me in bed with Mark. He was furious."

"Derek has a temper. It's our Irish heritage."

"He practically threw me out of the brownstone."

"That just shows how passionately he felt. You reminded him that he loves you. He was jealous."

"Nancy, I don't know if he was mad because he was jealous of me or he was angry with me for ruining his friendship with Mark."

"Addie, Derek's not going to throw away eleven years of marriage because of an affair, even with Mark. You need to go after him. Go to Seattle. Show him you love him."

"But maybe I prefer Mark."

"Addie, I love both Mark and Derek, but Derek is definitely the better husband. You should go after him."

"I'll give your advice all the consideration that it is due. Now tell me which programs you're planning on going to today." And Addie successfully changed he topic of conversation.

Later that day, Addie returned home. She found Mark making meatballs. "You like meatballs, don't you, Addie?"

"Absolutely."

"It's great to come home to a home-cooked meal."

"I thought you'd like it."

"I saw Nancy today."

"You thought you would. Did she talk to you?"

Addie laughed. "Of course she talked to me. She's not the kind of person to stop talking. You know that."

"Sure do."

"She told me that you knew her very well, much better than I ever thought."

Mark looked her in the eyes. "She told you that?"

"Yes, she told me you were a great loved, something she knew from personal experience."

"That was long ago."

"And she said you also slept with Liz and Kathy but not Amy."

Mark grimaced. "She did talk a lot."

"She was right?"

"Yes. But that was all long ago. Long before I even met you."

"Okay. Nancy says you're not a one-woman man."

"Nancy doesn't know me that well, I guess."

"You do like to flirt."

"But I love you. You're the first woman I've ever really loved. You have nothing to worry about."

"Okay." Addie kissed him. "Can I help cook dinner?"

"Not in that outfit. You don't want to get tomato sauce on that beautiful white blouse."

"You're right. I'll go up and change." And Addie decided to ignore what Nancy told her.d


End file.
